Song of a Failure
by Ryuchu
Summary: Aurica has always been nothing more than a failure. She is contantly reminded of that wherever she goes. Yet one day a boy crashes into her life and changes everything.


**A/N: **Hello there. I noticed that are very, very few Ar Tonelico fics on this site, so I thought I would write something. Plus, I'm in a minor writer's block right now, so I thought just writing a simple story would help. As of right now, this is just a one-shot, showing the inner thoughts of Aurica just before she meets Lyner, since there are pretty much no stories with Aurica (makes me sad 'cause she's my favorite). If I actually get enough interest from people (and from myself) I might one day continue this. We'll just have to wait and see :) I hope you enjoy! :D

* * *

Aurica winced as she hit another sour note in her song. She was nowhere near good enough. She gave a heavy sigh as she placed her hand on the dark blue crystal that rested beside her. The park at Nemo was one of her favorite places to go when she was in a bad mood.

_That's right…_ She thought bitterly as she stared into the dark night sky, _I'm not nearly good enough. I'm useless…_

She started her song again and on the second note, her voice cracked. Aurica felt disappointment well up within her chest as she held back hot and bitter tears. It just wasn't fair! She was a Reyvateil too, so she should be able to sing just as well as all the other girls! But, what came natural to them just seemed like an unobtainable dream to her.

Aurica turned away from the sky and started to walk back to the church. She was already out past curfew and she didn't need to incur the wrath of Cardinal Radolf. She always liked to take these walks, yet she always got scolded. She felt that her moments of solitude were well worth it to have a little lecture.

She began to hum as she walked away. She was glad that at least her humming was okay.

* * *

Aurica closed her eyes in Morning Prayer. She was very fervent about making sure that she spoke to The Trio of Elemia every day. She hoped that her great faith would one day reward her.

_Oh please, _She prayed fervently as she clenched her hands _Give me strength so that I'm never hurt by anyone again. Give me the power to sing beautiful songs and find a partner…_

"Ah, Aurica, already committing your morning prayers to our Goddesses? If you keep up your prayers I'm sure you will one day find great strength."

Aurica turned around to be greeted by Bishop Falss coming into the cathedral. She gave a small, sad smile, not willing to allow excitement to enter her face or her heart. Bishop Falss had been telling her the same thing for the past 3 years.

"Yes Bishop Falss. I hope to one day be as great as even one of The Trio of Elemia," Aurica answered with a statement she had said many times.

Bishop Falss gave a deep and booming laugh, "I'm sure that you will one day find the great strength to rival all three of our benevolent trio."

A small spark of hope lit in Aurica's heart. To think that she could one day be as amazing as The Trio of Elemia…it was like a dream.

"Well then," Bishop Falss said as he smiled at Aurica, "I didn't mean to interrupt your prayers. I'll be leaving now, so return to what you were doing." With those words, the older man turned around and headed toward the door of the church.

"Ah, excuse me Bishop, but I have a question…" Aurica called after him, "Is it…time for me to get a partner yet?"

Bishop Falss turned around and returned to where the young girl stood. He placed his hand on his shoulder, "My girl, one day you will find your partner that will make you truly strong, but today is not that day. You must remain patient and vigilant, always watching and praying to the Goddesses."

Aurica's face dropped as she heard the same regurgitated response that she had been fed many times before, "Yes Bishop Falss…"

The Bishop patted her lightly on the shoulder and he headed out the door of the cathedral. Aurica let out a sigh as she looked back up at the large and ornate statue that took of the large majority of the room.

_I just have to keep believing in them. They will give me strength and guide my way. But I do hope that they don't keep me waiting long…_

Aurica shook her head as the thought crossed her mind. She couldn't doubt her source of strength like that. The Trio would never let her down.

She walked out of the church as she continued to silently pray to the goddesses of stone.

* * *

Aurica had been randomly wandering around the quiet city of Nemo and she had once again ended up in the park next to the large blue song stone. She once again lightly laid her hand on it. She couldn't sing because of the people that stood around the park, enjoying the warm afternoon.

She watched the crowds pass by and continue on their way. Aurica felt like she was the only one standing still; the only one waiting.

"Sweetie, you know that I'm kind of tired. Do you really want me to sing for you?"

Aurica turned toward the sound of a high pitch girlish voice. She recognized the girl as one of the Reyvateils that worked at the church. She was with her partner, one of the Knights of Elemia.

"I'm sorry honey. I won't ask you to do it if your too tired, but you know that I love the sound of your voice so much," The knight responded as he held the young girl's hand.

The girl gave a small giggle, "Oh you! Well…I'll make an exception just this once! But, how about we go somewhere where I can sing for you in private."

The couple passed Aurica and the Reyvateil girl stopped when she saw her.

"Oh hi Aurica!" She said cheerfully as she smiled at the young girl, "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing much," Aurica answered bluntly as she looked with emotionless eyes at the other girl.

The smile on the other girl's face dropped a little, "Ah…right…well then, I guess I'll see you later." The girl walked away from Aurica as quickly as possible.

"That girl is so depressing!" Aurica heard the girl say as she walked off, "That's probably why she doesn't have a partner. She wouldn't be able to sings songs to help them, only to depress them.

Aurica dropped her eyes and stared at the ground. She tried to convince herself that the words of the other girl didn't bother her, but Aurica could feel the pain in her heart. She didn't try to be so depressing, but she couldn't allow herself to get close to other people…they might end up hurting her.

She started to walk away from the park as dark thoughts rolled in her head. She had to go find and talk to Claire, she would understand.

* * *

As Aurica opened the door to the inn that Claire's bar was located in, she was greeted by the warm sound of a song. Aurica instantly recognized the voice as Claire's.

The song was warm and inviting, sharing Claire's feelings clearly. Aurica closed her eyes and listened to the emotions of the song. Claire wasn't even using Hymnnos and yet the song managed to reach deep into Aurica's soul.

As Claire finished the song, a tranquil silence hung in the air. Then the audience broke into warm applause. Claire smiled warmly as she received her praise. Aurica felt a nasty feeling begin to boil up within her.

Jealousy.

Aurica had always been jealous of Claire's ability to walk on her own two feet. Aurica had been trying to train herself to be like her, but it was just too hard for her. She wasn't as strong as Claire was.

"Aurica!" Claire called as she spotted the young girl near the entrance to the bar.

Aurica gave a small, sad smile. She quickly walked over to the bar and sat down at one of the many stools.

"So Aurica," Claire began warmly as she placed her lute down on the floor, "How has your day been so far?"

"It's been okay…" Aurica said, betraying just how not okay her day had been.

A look of worry crossed Claire's face, "I've known you too long for you to let you get away with that. Something's bothering you."

Aurica shook her head, "It's really nothing…I'm just thinking about why I don't have a partner yet. So many of the other girls at the church are getting their partners and they get to sing so many songs. I can't even sing one song right…"

Claire let out a sigh, "Aurica…we've talked about this before. Just because you find a partner doesn't mean that you'll become instantly stronger. And also, if you really want a partner the right person will eventually come along."

"But I don't want to wait!" Aurica said as she raised her voice, "I want to have my strength now! I want to be able to sing a song and touch people's hearts!"

"You know just as well as I do that how you sound all depends on what you feel in your songs. You've already given up on your songs and so they have no strength. Please Aurica, stop this obsession with finding a partner and actually put your emotions into your song!"

Aurica stood up abruptly and ran out of the bar. She had come to Claire for advice, not to be lectured.

"Wait a minute! Come back her Aurica!" Claire yelled at the retreating back of the young girl.

TWANG!

Claire winced as she heard a dissonant sound. She looked down at the lute next to her on the floor. In her haste to stop Aurica she had accidently kicked it and broken a string. She took the lute in her hands and let out a sigh. She would have to talk to Aurica again after she calmed down a little.

* * *

Aurica walked quickly through the streets of Nemo as she stared at the ground. She walked heedless of who she knocked into. She just wanted to get somewhere quiet.

She ended up back at the church. She looked up at the grand structure that towered over her. Simply looking at it gave Aurica a feeling of salvation. She knew that not a lot of people would be in the cathedral at this time, so she thought it would be a good place to think.

She quietly opened the door and stood once again in front of The Trio of Elemia. She looked up at their stone faces looking for comfort in their features.

"I'm trying you know," Aurica said aloud to the statue as her voice filled the tall cathedral, "It's just…hard to try some times. It's so much easier to just stay apart from people; then there's no chance of being hurt."

The faces of the statues remained unchanged by Aurica's speech.

"Maybe I have lost the ability to put emotion into my songs…" Aurica said quietly as she began to hum the song Claire had been singing earlier. She opened her mouth and let the words flow out, but she quickly stopped again. Compared to Claire, her voice sounded dead and hollow.

Aurica turned as she heard the sound of someone opening the door. Cardinal Radolf stood in the doorway with a slight smile on his face.

"That was a beautiful song Aurica," he said as he approached the young girl.

"Thank you, Cardinal," Aurica said as she once again looked up at the statue. She hadn't thought it was beautiful at all.

"Are you practicing for when you get a partner of you own?" The Cardinal asked as he stood next to her and also looked up at the statue.

"I guess…" Aurica said quietly.

"Well, I'm sure you'll find your partner soon. It's only a matter of time. You just can't give up hope."

"Yeah…"

"Well, I have to go take care of some business now. I trust you'll be alright on your own?" Radolf asked as he looked over at the young girl.

"I'll be just fine," Aurica responded not meeting the man's eye.

"Alright…I'll see you later than."

"Alright"

Aurica listened to the retreating footsteps of the Cardinal and she felt hot tears come to her eyes. It just wasn't fair…how many people were going to tell her the same lie today? She wasn't a good singer, she wasn't getting a partner and she wasn't going to be alright.

"Ah yes, before I forget, I have something I wish to ask you."

Aurica looked up as the sound of the Cardinal's voice cut into her thoughts. She turned around to look at him with a puzzled look on her face.

"We are going to do missionary work in Karulu Village. It might do you some good to get out of the city for a little while. Would you like to come with?" Radolf asked with a smile on his face.

"I would love to go," Aurica answered resolutely. If she could get away with not having to confront Claire for a few days or see all the other girls with their partners, she would gladly go anywhere.

"Alright then, it's decided," The Cardinal said with another smile, "We leave tomorrow morning. Make sure you're ready by then." With his news delivered, he turned and left the church without another word.

Aurica looked up once more at the statue of the goddesses, the source of the small strength she could manage to muster.

_Please… _She prayed silently as she met the hollow stone eyes of her saviors, _Please let this trip change everything for me. Please let this be my chance to find a partner and prove how useful I am. Please let this be my chance to prove that I'm not just a failure._


End file.
